Lost in Traslation

I am seriously falling in love with Japan. Every time I come here I like it more and more. I am to the point now that I am thinking about learning some serious Japanese. And after a few events today, I think I need to. I must get these stories into blog form while they are still fresh in my head. I hope they come across as funny as there were in real life, but they may have a 'you had to be there' feel to them. OK here goes. I like to be able to communicate with people in their own language. I hate the idea that you can assume people speak English, especially when you are in THEIR own country. I have to learn how to at least say 'I don't speak ______.' I struggled with that one in Hebrew, man that's a tough language. But I know it in Japanese and I am learning more and more phrases every trip. Anyways, our interpreter on our flight today is awesome. I've flown with her before and she is super. She is great with helping me learn Japanese phrases. Today I mastered 'What would you like to drink?' and learned how to say 'It's occupied' for when people inevitably try and go in the bathroom when there is someone in there already. I love practicing on people. They appreciate it and it helps me learn. The only problem comes when you start talking in Japanese, people think you speak it and if they don't say something to me that I know, ie: water, coffee, tea, I get lost and then have to use my other phrases: "I'm sorry." "I don't understand." "I don't speak Japanese." It can be a little embarrassing telling someone you don't speak Japanese right after you spoke to them IN Japanese. But I digress. Story number one takes place during a beverage service. I was at a row with this young Japanese couple, who, if they spoke English, didn't let on that they did. So In my best Japanese I asked "Ono mi mo no wa?' They said "Kohi" (coffee) and "apple". OK, I got those two words down, especially since one was in English. So I got the coffee and gave it to the man. I then asked him, in Japanese, if he wanted sugar or creme. He looked at the coffee, then at me and said: "Hot Kohi?" (But imagine the ho in 'hot' sounds like the ho in 'ho ho ho'). I was a bit confused, I thought he was trying to say in English: "Hot Coffee?" Not knowing how to respond in Japanese, or English for that matter, I shook my head and repeated in my perfect Japanese "kohi." His response, "Hot Kohi?" My response, "Hai (yes), kohi." We did this back and forth a few times. I was quite confused. Did he want something besides sugar or creme? Was this 'hot' word a Japanese word I didn't know? Did I misunderstand them and he wanted 'coke'? I thought that might be it so I tried to take the cup away from him, but he kept hold of it, so no, not wanting a coke. So at this point I am thoroughly embarrassed at my horrible Japanese skills and Misa is not close by to ask for help. So I sadly say, "sorry, sorry, sorry" and go on my way, a bit more leery to use my 20 word Japanese vocabulary. When I see Misa nearby a few mins later I flag her down and ask for help. Can she help me figure out what the guy wanted? We head over there and they start talking in Japanese, looking at me, pointing to the coffee cup. I'm dying to know what happened as I stand there looking like an idiot. Turns out he WAS saying 'hot coffee'. He was wanting to be sure it wasn't coke, but coffee. So it turns out he was saying exactly what he needed to be and I was hearing it, but I couldn't make it work in my head. So I felt silly, the guy and girl felt bad that I needed to call the interpreter over to help with nothing and I left the row as red of my pocket square. Fail #1. At least they were nice about it and laughed, albeit at my expense, but that's OK.
Story #2 takes places as I am trying, very excitedly I must add, to use my new phrase: "It's occupied." A lady, in Japanese appearance, came up to the lav door and pushed on it. I said in English "Someone is in there." and then remembered I had the phase written in Japanese on my cheat sheet. I proudly and excitedly pulled it out and proceeded to inform her, in Japanese that it is occupied. Her response to me? In perfect, non accented English: "Well, is there someone in the other one?" Fail #2, getting excited about talking to someone in Japanese, that doesn't speak it. Oh, what a good trip. But I had more wins than losses so to speak. Most people got the drink they wanted. And I was able to order gyoza in Japanese when we got here and was even able to ask if they had pork in them. So I'm doing ok, but got a long ways to go.
But now, since it is 3:50am in Seattle, I am off for my routine soak in the tub here, which is AMAZING, before continuing on to Guam then Narita tomorrow. More time to practice! Sayonara for now!